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Unable to Remain Stable

Riddle me this...What both sucks and blows, but is not a Shop Vac?


If you answered, "Terry Harper's recurrent, malignant brain tumor," then you are today's big winner!


I learned last week - Feb. 4 - that less than fourth months following my second brain surgery and after five rounds of chemotherapy coupled with supposed miracle drug Avastin that my most aggressive tumor had broken through the lines of defense and is once again "progressing."


Although Lee Ann and I had suspected for a couple of weeks that something might be askew because of some vision problems I was experiencing, the actual confirmation came as quite the ole gut punch.


At the moment, we are scrambling to weigh the available options and make a decision as to the next course of treatment. Those options may include more surgery, more chemotherapy or clinical trials in which I may be eligible to participate.


I have a consultation scheduled back at the National Institutes of Health National Cancer Institute (Dr. Howard Fine) on Friday, Feb. 13, and am scheduling a consultation at Duke University for early next week.


My local doctor has offered to put me on Carboplatin, another chemotherapy, but to do that immediately would rule me out of any possible trials because you have to come into those "clean," i.e. not taking any other treatment.


So that's where things sit at the moment. I should have a plan of action in place within two weeks, at the very latest. As always, time is a factor.


I shall keep you, loyal readers, in the know as I learn more in the coming days. Keep that good karma flowing this way!


Love,


Terry

xoxox

65 comments:

Jill said...

Boy oh boy does that suck and blow. We're behind you 100% and will continue to pray and send positive, healing energy your way. I know you've got a lot of thinking and doc visiting to do over the next few weeks, but we'd love to get together with the Harper clan again soon.

Virtual Farmgirl said...

You and your family are in our prayers up here in Chicagoland. We're saddened by this news, but ever encouraged by your spirit.

Russ said...

Keep fighting Terry! You're in my prayers.

Strude86 said...

I still hope to see you in Mexico soon.

Be well.

D...

Carl said...

SHIT.
I wish that bastard was a dog uterus....then I could cut it out for you.

Many thoughts, prayers and hopes for you and the family.

love you buddy

Anonymous said...

Keep fighting, Terry. You have an incredibly positive spirit and strength -- I'm proud of you and your family and we're all sending you the most positive, affirmative karma possible. Good luck, my friend!
~Rhori J.

Anonymous said...

I'm sending you some love power and some tumor killing vibes. Keep fighting.

-Sara

John D. Watt said...

Damn. Well you are where you are, and always with an incredible and stubborn will.

If you decide to go to Duke, I want to be there with you... not that a(n) OK State Cowboy would see that as any advantage whatsoever.

Damn, Terry. Keep up the fight every damn day. We're with you.

Fraternally, John D. ...

David R. Murray said...

What a revoltin' development! I hope you and Lee Ann and the boys are able to find a few moments of peace, even as you rush around making impossible decisions. Alejandro & I send prayers and good wishes from Syracuse, too.

Love to all,
David

John Mocker said...

Terry - they say bad news comes in 'threes'....and this will be the last time this nasty bastard rears his ugly head, medical science, good karma and especially your strong will and positive thought will "get it" and banish him forever...as they say 'keep on keepin on'...I'm praying for you and yours...

John A...

Anonymous said...

First time typer, long time reader...Lee Ann and I had lunch before the holidays. She is amazing. She thinks the same of you. But I'm sure you already know that. I read today's post with a sick feeling. Then I thought of you and your family and how you've handled everything and I'm betting against the tumor. Mozzle, good thoughts, Terry.

DebW said...

Keep writing, keep fighting...and know that there are many, many people who care for you and your family. God bless.

Anonymous said...

Terry my prayers are with you. I'm a pastor out of Oklahoma City and just want to encourage you to keep your head up.

Julie said...

Well, my stud muffin old friend, this does suck. Whad'ya say we find a great new treatment and kick this thing for good?! (as only old lifeguards can) Sending prayers, positive thoughts and love to you all!! (never let it be said that a Sooner doesn't love a Cowboy)

Julie C.

Anonymous said...

Okay! I am about done with this "houseguest" you have had in your head for to long now!! I cannot wait until you blog that, the damn thing has been eradicated!! I read your blog often,and I have FINALLY found, that I need to let you now that you have an impact on many! Keep "loving every minute of it" ...your life, your wife and your kids...

Signed a former fan of your sing/screaming St. Elmo's Fire theme song back in mid-80's in the halls of Oklahoma Beta

Greg G

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SuSu said...

I'm sorry you have to die, but by the way what is Brain Tumer?

Sean said...

Lee Ann, your husband was a beautiful brave man, a fighter, and a damn good writer, his prose inspires, as does the love you have for each other.

Your love and caring for him and his fight for life is an outgoing prayer.

Marsha said...

This has been so inspiring to me. I have just completed chemo for lymphoma. You and the family will be in my prayers

erica said...

I know the feeling i just lost my grandmother to lung cancer and she had a brain tumore also on may 20,2009 its a feeling that hurts so much we make everything wheelchair acessable for her
your family is in my prayers

miguel said...

Hi My Name is Mike and I just read Terry's story and it reached my heart, I am saddened to see such a Loving man have to leave his Family anf Friends, I do pray that there is an after life so that we all can meet there,, I have been HIV+ for almost 29 years and in reality I should not be here but GOD has given the opportunity to find my son and live this long, I do Pray that I will be able to speack to my Son before I join Terry, i would like you to know that you have a friend in me, may GOD bless your family, sending you all a Huge HUG

Dawn said...

This has been so inspiring to me and you and your family will be in my prayers. I have been a caregiver for my husband for 4 years who was diagonosed with lymphoma. He almost passed away in September due to complications and is fortunately still here with us today but is still struggling with the progression of the disease and the many chemos he has had (and he is only 43). We are reaching a point where he might be out of options and I can totally relate to what you and your family had been going through.

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TO THE FAMILY MEMBERS:
GOD BLESS YOU ALL AS HE WAS A FIGHTER IN ALL WAYS OF HEALING,HOWEVER IT DID NOT WORK. HE IS A REAL MAN AND HE WILL INDEED MAKE IT TO HIS NEXT VERSION OF LIFE WHICH I CALL HEAVEN YES HEAVEN THERE IS ONE AND THE BIBLE SAY'S SO . I BELIEVE IT BECAUSE IT IS A FACT THAT THERE IS A GOD ATLEAST IN MY EYES THERE IS JESUS THE SON OF GOD. HE WILL BE THERE THAT IS WHEN THE LION MEET'S THE LAMB. GOD NEEDS HIM MORE THEN WE DID OR DO BECAUSE YOU LEAVE THIS PLANET DOES NOT MEAN IT'S OVER YES HERE ON EARTH HOWEVER IF YOU BELIEVE IN GOD & JESUS YOU TO WILL NOT FEAR DEATH I HAVE 2 LIFE THREATING DESEASES AND I AM NOT DEAD YET ?. WHY I AM NOT I BELIEVE THAT MY WORK IS NOT OVER WITH THE HELP THAT I DO FOR OTHER'S LIKE THE HOMELESS PEOPLE THAT I HELP & ALCOHOLIC'S THAT I HAVE HELPED AND DO NOT DRINK ANY MORE. I HAVE AND ALWAY HAVE BEEN A GREAT HELP TO PEOPLE THAT THINK THERE IS NOTHING ELSE TO LIVE FOR IN FACT I HAVE HELPED PEOPLE BELIEVE IN GOD BEFORE THEY DID NOT AND SAID WELL I BELIEVE IN SOMETHING, I AM NOT A BIBLE THUMPER AN ANY WAY HOWEVER I DO SAY THAT EVERY ONE SHOULD READ THE BIBLE ATLEAST ONCE IF NOT MORE AND BELIEVE IN IT LIKE YOU READ SPORTS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT YOU BELIEVE WHAT YOU SEE BUT FIND IT HARD TO BELIEVE IN WHAT YOU HAVE TO PUT FAITH IN IT AND HOPE IS TRUE. SO WITH ALL SAID HAVE A GREAT DAY AND GOD BLESS YOU ALL WEATHER YOU BELIEVE IT OR NOT IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO SAY I ACCEPT GOD AS MY SAVIOR AND REPENT FOR YOUR SINS. NO ONE IS PERFECT AND IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO TURN YOUR LIFE OVER TO GOD AND FOLLOW HIM NOT LET HIM FOLLOW YOU KEEP YOUR FAITH AND MOVE ON TO A BETTE WAY OF LIVING. GOD IS GOING TO COME UPON EARTH SO FAST AND THINGS WILL BE SO HAPPY FOR EVERYONE ON THIS PLANET. WE ARE IN A SITUATION THAT HAS TO LET YOU DECIDE YOURSELF ABOUT GOD & JESUS. I HAVE READ SOME THINGS AND PRAYED TO SAINT JUDE AND BELIEVE ME THINGS HAPPENED TO ME NOT ONLY ONCE BUT 3 TIMES IN MY LIFE ONLY HE COULD HAVE DONE BY THE OK FROM THE KING OF KINGS JESUS CHRIST. i BELIEVE IN GOD & JESUS VERY MUCH AS LIKE THEY WERE PEOPLE THAT I TALKED TO EACH DAY HE LIVES AND DOES THINGS FOR US BUT YOU MUST HAVE FAITH AND BELIEVE IN OTHER THEN THAT MY FRIENDS I LEAVE THAT TO YOU THAT IS THE CHOICES THAT GOD HAS GIVEN US EACH TO BELIEVE IN OR NOT IT IS YOUR CHOICE. HE LIVED IN THE DAY'S THAT I ONLY WISH I WAS AROUND TO SEE THE GREAT THINGS HE DID WHILE ON EARTH. EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE WROTE DOWN AS STORIES NO ONE IN THE WORLD COULD HAVE DONE A FRACTION OF WHAT HE DID EVEN LESS THEN THAT AS FAR AS THE FAMILY I PRAY FOR THEM TO BE HAPPY AND REMEMBER THE THINGS HE SAID TO THEM THAT CAN ONLY IN COURAGE THEM TO BELIEVE IN GOD HE DID NOT MENTION IT BUT IF YOU READ THE NOTES HE LEFT YOU CAN SEE HE BELIEVED IN CHRIST THE ONLY SON OF GOD.SO WITH ALL SAID THE FAMILY WILL BE OK WHY BECAUSE HE TOLD THEM THAT. AND THEY BELIEVE HIS WORDS NOW IT'S YOUR TURN TO DO THE SAME IN THE SAKE OF THE FAMILY. PRAYER AND A STRONG BELEIF IN GOD

Anonymous said...

I just happened to read Terry's blog and it grabbed me right away. What an amazing man and what a wonderful family he had to help him with the last part of his life on earth. I would love to be able to use what he wrote when I reach my final countdown. He was blessed to have such a family and friends and I think they must have been blessed to have Terry in their lives. Elke C.

Danielle said...

I would like to give my blessings to the family and friends, he was a fighter and was blessed to have such a loving family and such loving and caring friends in his life. Terry's story has brought tears to my eyes, the story has caught my heart. My prayers are with all of you.
Danielle, CO.

Anonymous said...

I did not know Terry, nor had heard about him until today. He touched my heart! He is in a better place without pain, suffering. Although it would have been great if he were still here among his wonderful, adoring family and friends, he was chosen for bigger and better things. That's how I can make sense out of it. Family and friends, stay strong. He will always be with you!

minouche8@aol.com said...

Dear Lee Ann, Dale and Jace.
So sorry for your loss.

My mom died of a brain tumor. my friend's mom too. my neighbor in Italy was successfully operated. it was complicated. she was never 100% the same but 10 years later she is still alive. but now she is deteriorating very fast and painfully so.

Your husband was brave, courageous! I read his post with a bleeding heart. May his courage and determination be your beacon for all times to come.

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